Rick Horne gives a clear view of the current situation and offers suggestions for parents and other professionals who work with teens to address anger.
Adults and teens can be guilty of sinful attitudes and actions. Horne reminds us all of this truth, and throughout the book he uses Scripture to back up his recommendations. Talking with teens is not easy. They aren’t the only ones who have committed sin. While we are not expected to overlook their sins, it is possible to open up doors to teens by being aware of our own tendencies. We can help teens open up by demonstrating a faith that glorifies God in all we do
Horne gives many examples of interactions between teens and adults – some not so great, some better. The author then suggests the following action plan for parents or other people who work with angry teens:
This allows you to identify your “wise desires” and use them to build a relationship with your teen. You can encourage your teen not to give up by pointing out that he has wise desires and has achieved at least one of them. You must be an attentive listener and make sure you are able to understand what your teen says. This includes paying attention to your teen’s body language and using your positive voice. The teen might also say, “You don’t understand.” Or, “You don’t listen to me.
“The purpose of a man’s heart is like deep water; but a man with understanding will draw it out.” Proverbs 20:5
Clearing narrow requires the solid foundation of the bridge you have built. Clarifying her situation can be done by helping her recognize her “wise desires” and the fact that she has the ability to choose wisely from her peers. The teen will be able to see the connection between cause and effect in her decisions. Her relationship with Christ will have an impact on her choices and how you address them.
“Since the foolish are the most dangerous, good sense is the best weapon against them.” Proverbs 13:15
Using to search for solutions for your teenager’s problems means looking beyond the norms. He has made wise choices in the past and achieved good results. This can be a good example and encourager for future decisions.
Paraphrase from Proverbs 30.24-28: “Take advantage of the opportunities (as ants), refuge (as conies), cooperation (as locusts), and perseverance that your creator has given to you (as Lizards do). OR, “Look at the resources God gave you in the past and present and use them to solve the problems you are facing now.”
Horne offers wise advice, stating that we must recognize that a teen’s resistance to change may be a sign that we are trying to force our solution on him rather than allowing him the freedom to find his own.
Planning small reminds you that we shouldn’t expect too much too quickly. Achievable goals set the stage for long-term resolution of more manageable goals. They must be precise so that they are measurable.
After your teen takes a small step forward, it is important to keep the conversation going. You can help her set specific, measurable, and achievable goals. The author also reminds us in the final chapter that our ultimate goal is to point our teenager to the cross.